She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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