I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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