You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
