You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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