why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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