Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
