ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
