Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
