i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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