apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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