Plan B is the new Plan A
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
