He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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