Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We had sex on a dog bed..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize