Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
