shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
