She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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