so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
