you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
