so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize