call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
