First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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