Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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