it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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