Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
