pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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