I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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