90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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