I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
