I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think my moral compass just broke
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