Plan B is the new Plan A
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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