a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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