I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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