I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
