Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
