If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
