Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
