dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
