I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
