Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
