I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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