You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
