with your own penis?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
