The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
