What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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