she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
