I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
