just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All the doctor said was why
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
