i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
