physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
