why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize