Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I take back everything I said about communal showers
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
