you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize