Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
