My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
