I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
