Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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