she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
