so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
