If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize