What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
