so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
